what a prankster

So yesterday and today have been super stressful days.. Little super hero is pulling some major pranks on us. Yesterday after a BM I had serious bleeding.. it was on and off all day(no clots, just tons of red blood) i was super sad- cried most of the day.. also had some weird cramping but it wasnt normal cramping and it wasnt painful.  I called the on call nurse and she said I could come in this am for another US to see whats going on. I FULLY expected to see no baby at all.. but to my amazing surprise the baby was measurinng right on schedule and had just developed its heartbeat! soo exciting.. Dr sees no reason for the blood and says hes not really concerned with it.  Its just brown now anyways so i dont even know what all that was about.. All i can say is our baby is already pulling some major stunts! Here he is! the 2 Xs are measuring his growth and he was 2 mm.  Im going to TRY to relax until my next scan next Monday.

Dear miracle

Dear baby blessing,
I love you so much. I already think you/your gestational sac is ADORABLE.  You have noooo idea how loved and wanted you are.  I think about you 24/7. Mainly hoping and praying you stay and are healthy.  Ive lost 4 of your brothers and sisters before you and each one has been more difficult than the last. I feel you are the winner. You are a super hero in disguise. I bet you are super strong and will be the healthiest baby bean ever.  I hope you enjoy my uterus and its nice and cozy for ya. Im trying to do everything possible for you.  Im resting, eating the right things, drinking lots of water (which you LOVE apparently) and Im keeping you safe.  Im taking lots of good vitamins and medicines to keep you.  I cannot wait till I get to see you again next week. You are so photogenic.  I love you. See you soon:)
Love Mom

Here we go, AGAIN!

Well my 1st IUI was a huge FAIL... made me angry, sad, frustrated and BROKE... geesh this fertility stuff is sooooo expensive!!! Anyway, I contemplated doing another cycle with IUI and I eventually decided I wanted to.. Dr said to give it at least 3 times before trying IVF. soo I went ahead and this time did Clomid and had 3 good eggs that ovulated. I was super happy with the result from this cycle and anxiously awaiting to take a test... On 10DPO I decided I really wanted to test.. I KNEW it would be negative cuz I had no symptoms whatsoever.. had more symptoms the month before when I wasnt pregnant lol. Well do you know how surprised I was to see those 2 lines??? WOW Thank the LORD for this miracle.. I feel so blessed.. I really hope and pray 4th times a charm and I think it will be. I just cannot handle another loss.. Im praying hard for God to give me peace and happiness and for this one to be chromosomally healthy. I know my body can do this, weather there is 1, 2 or 3 in the oven I can do this.. God gives me the strength but I really really hope the right egg and sperm matched up this time.. Hope to God every day, about a 10000 times.. Theres nothing else I can do.. Its all up to him. I get my Betas tomorrow and Thursday and then start my injections OUCH! but it will be worth it to have what Im dreaming of. Heres my test from today.. Im only 13dpo soo still really early.. I tested this time 5 days before my period should start lol but i guess its a good sign that my lines have been getting progressively darker. Please pray for me.